Unraveling the discomfort in embracing a new style: Why does it feel so wrong?

Have you ever ventured into a new style that's a bit beyond your usual comfort zone? Maybe it’s slipping into a pair of loafers for the first time, or embracing something more refined or eccentric, only to feel disappointed thinking it doesn't quite suit you?

Well, what if I told you that often it's not the clothes that look unflattering; rather, it's likely just coming to terms with seeing yourself in a unfamiliar style. But why does this reaction occur?

When browsing online it’s not uncommon to come across a new form of style inspiration that captures your imagination. There can be a surge of excitement—thinking, ‘Yes, this is the new me, this my new look!’.

You save your money to buy the piece/s, they finally arrive and you try them on. You glance up at your reflection in the mirror, expecting a certain aesthetic vision to unfold, but suddenly doubt floods in: ‘What am I even doing?’ you think. Swiftly, you take it off, toss it aside to a corner of your room, and go back to the familiar comfort of your previous style.

With our personal style aligning so closely to our personal identities, a type of Imposter syndrome can creep in and create doubts when unfamiliar style changes are made. Although this may sound awful, it’s quite the opposite. It’s just the uncomfortable, yet necessary, feeling of growth.Even though we get dressed everyday, having a good sense of style is still a skill, and like with any other hobby, when you aim to grow and improve with intention you’ll likely realise it’s not all that easy.

To better explain this, I want to share with you a certain chart.The chart below represents a cognitive bias known as the Dunning-Kruger effect. Essentially it shows, individuals with a low ability in a particular area tend to overestimate their skill or knowledge in that area. This bias occurs because these individuals lack the expertise to recognise their own incompetence.

When applying this bias to our personal style journey, we are at our most confident, ‘the peak’, when wearing what we are most comfortable in. This level of confidence may inspire us to try a new style, something outside of our comfort zone perhaps.When operating outside of our comfort zone, in can expose us to our lack of knowledge regarding a desired style, even if we like it. This unfamiliarity often triggers uncertainties regarding how this new style aligns with our current self-image.

At this point we end up grappling in the 'valley of despair’ as we attempt to adopt this new style, sometimes unfairly attributing our discomfort to ourselves or the clothes. This process leads to questioning the authenticity of the image we aim to project with the chosen new style.The ‘valley of despair’ is uncomfortable, and in this circumstance some may traverse back to the warmth of their comfort zone, denying growth and most unfortunately failing to learn and evolve their personal style.

So, how do we ascend to the 'slope of enlightenment'? There's no shortcut; we've got to go through it. We need to have the self compassion to give ourselves the time to figure it out and get comfortable with this new version of ourselves.Eventually through the tests of trying, failing and trying again our chosen new style will begin to feel like the new representation of who we are and how we want to represent ourselves to the world.